You think you’re growing, but are you? Truly? Or are you just skimming the surface, sticking to what’s comfortable, convincing yourself that baby steps are enough? Real growth—the kind that transforms your life—rarely feels good in the moment. It feels uncomfortable, terrifying even. It pushes you to the edge of what you believe you’re capable of and forces you to go beyond it.
Growth doesn’t happen when things are easy. It happens in those moments when you’re completely out of your depth, heart pounding, questioning every decision that got you there. And if you’re serious about becoming the best version of yourself, you have to run straight into those moments. Not casually, not cautiously, but with a near-reckless abandon. Within reason, of course.
My Early Encounters with Fearful Growth
My journey with growth began in terror. Real, heart-in-your-throat, can’t-sleep terror. One of the most pivotal moments came when I volunteered to give a talk at a customer event for my employer. It was my first time standing in front of a crowd as a professional representative, and I didn’t sleep for two days leading up to it. I was convinced I’d make a fool of myself, but I forced myself to show up.
That moment changed my life. It cracked open doors I didn’t even know existed. It paved the way for me to eventually become a spokesperson for a multi-billion-dollar company. None of that would’ve happened if I hadn’t decided to get over myself and run toward the discomfort of public speaking.
Later, I took that same approach and applied it to adrenaline sports. Off-piste skiing, kite surfing, and, more recently, motorcycle racing all became arenas where I faced fear head-on. There’s something primal about strapping yourself into situations that could go terribly wrong if you hesitate. These pursuits taught me that fear isn’t something to avoid; it’s a signal that you’re on the edge of real growth.
It Doesn’t Have to Be Extreme
Now, let me be clear—you don’t have to take up kite surfing or motorcycle racing to grow. Yes, I’ve leaned into the extreme, but the key is about changing your relationship with the unknown. Growth isn’t about adrenaline; it’s about courage. It’s about facing whatever makes your heart race and deciding you won’t let fear dictate your choices.
For some, that might mean taking a class in something you’ve never tried before. For others, it could mean speaking up in a meeting or starting a project that scares you. The specifics don’t matter. What matters is how you approach the challenge. Growth is about running toward the discomfort, not away from it.
Fear Is Still My Companion
Here’s the truth: Fear never really goes away. There wasn’t a magic moment where I turned it off. Fear is still with me, every step of the way. It’s the reason I didn’t go pro in any of my adrenaline sports. And honestly? That’s probably a good thing—it’s kept me alive.
But fear doesn’t get to run my life. Every time it shows up, I make it clear that I’m no pushover. I’m going to put up a fight every damn time. That’s what continuous growth looks like—not the absence of fear, but the decision to challenge it anyway.
My Latest Battle: The Mouse King
This week, I’m facing one of the most intimidating challenges yet: I, a talentless, middle-aged man with nothing but a few bad dance moves I save for weddings, am performing in my first ballet. Tonight is the opening night of Santa Rosa Dance Studio's The Nutcracker, where I’m playing the Mouse King.
This is terrifying for me. I grew up in a blue-collar, low-education Australian family—the kind that would mock me endlessly for this kind of thing. It taps directly into my childhood insecurities. But that’s exactly why I’m doing it. Standing on that stage in ballet slippers, embodying something so far outside my comfort zone, is a reminder that growth doesn’t stop.
It’s taken me a week to get the courage to even share this, but here I am, leaning into growth.
What About You?
So, what about you? How are you going to challenge your relationship with fear? How are you going to chase growth—not casually, not cautiously, but with boldness and conviction?
You don’t have to perform in a ballet or race motorcycles, but you do have to do something. Something that scares you. Something that makes you question why you’re doing it. Because that’s where growth happens.
The question isn’t whether you’re ready. The question is, are you willing?
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